25.

Today marks my 25th birthday and I slowly realize the facts that make this age a milestone.  Not surrealistic as assuming to become an adult at 18, I honestly believe in the magic of 25 years that make you wiser, smarter and older. Older in a good way I believe. 25 is an age where you are truly surrounded by the results of your very own choices, such as your job as a result of your education, your friends and most probably the man / woman in your life. I have been thinking very deeply about many things in these last 2-3 months (which ultimately costed me sleepless nights and not so many answers…). I have been thinking about 15 years ago, 10 years ago, 5 years ago, a year ago and I am so amazed of everything that has happened along the way. Not only I spent a year in London and met so many amazing people that I will be friends with for the rest of my life, I had the chance to live with my closest friend under the same roof and my boyfriend literally 10 minutes away. The experience did not only strengthen our friendship but also contributed a lot to the people we’ve grown to be right now. Today marks my 25th birthday and I am so happy with all the years left behind me. I am so grateful to everyone around me, but I am just as grateful for the things that didn’t work out as well. When you are able to take something good out of your / others’ failures; such as growth and perspective, I believe you are very close to being peaceful about yourself. At the 25th year of my life, I think I had more than one milestone. It was a year that I learned many things that I have never thought I would be able to do (such as living in a house invaded by mice). It was a year that I tasted the deep sorrow of losing a loved one for the first time. It was a year that I also learned that I was blessed to have friends to support me before I even called for their help. It was a year that I got married and took the biggest step in my life. I would say I spread my wings away but my parents are living 3 streets down so that can not be considered as a big journey. I left my father’s house though, a house in which I was the only child (only girl child to be exact 🙂 ) – and that is something you can only understand by being an only child of a house.  It was a year that I learned only the death of a loved one can never be reversed, but everything else can be. It was a year that I learned that anger and hate are two useless things but thankfully they are temporary; only true love is stable and eternal to hold the relationships together: friendships, families, marriage… No one can choose their family but who would even ask for a better one? You can choose your friends though, and you should. At the age of 25 I think you are only surrounded with the ones you truly love, appreciate, admire and trust. It was also a year that I found out a new hobby, writing this blog that I enjoy doing so much!!!

“A year older and none wiser” would be suitable for all my previous birthdays, but not this one. I am definitely a year older, and definitely so much wiser 🙂

Bugun benim 25inci yas gunum ve yavas yavas bu yasin onemini fark ediyorum. 18 yasina gelip buyudugunu dusunmek gibi hayalperest degil, 25 yasin ciddi ciddi bir buyusu var, sizi gercekten buyuten, olgunlastiran, her hareketinizi daha bir anlamli yapan. Buyumek derken kesinlikle iyi yonde bir buyumekten bahsediyorum, akillanmak diyelim. Cunku 25 yasiniza geldiginizde gercekten hayatinizla ilgili yaptiginiz secimlerin karsiliklarini yasamaya basliyorsunuz, isiniz egitiminizin bir yansimasi, arkadas cevreniz ve hayatinizdaki erkek / kadin, hepsi sizin karakterinizin ve ne istemis oldugunuzun yansimalari. Ve 25 sene sonra hayatinizda sadece ve sadece gercekten sevdiginiz, olmasini istediginiz, takdir ettiginiz, hayran oldugunuz ve guvendiginiz insanlarla cevreleniyorsunuz. Son birkac aydir (beni cogu gece uykusuz ve yanitsiz biraksa da) gecmis seneleri, hayatimi ve secimlerimi daha sik dusunur oldum. 15 sene, 10 sene oncesini, 5 sene oncesini ve hatta gecen seneyi uzun uzun dusunuyorum ve ne kadar cok sey olmus, ne kadar cok sey degismis diyorum. Londra gibi bir sehirde 1 sene yasayip omur boyu surecek arkadasliklar kurmanin yani sira, en yakin arkadasimla ayni evi paylastim. Bu tecrube sadece arkadasligimizi guclendirmedi, bizi suan oldugumuz insan yapmakta cok buyuk bir rol oynadi. Ve bugun 25inci yasgunum ve ben geride kalan yillardan o kadar mutluyum ki. Suan etrafimda olan herkese oldugum kadar, yolunda gitmeyen herseye de minnettarim aslinda. Eger kendi hatalarinizdan ya da etrafinizdakilerin hatalarindan ders cikarabilip kendinizi olgunlastirabiliyorsaniz, zaten kendinizle ve gecirdiginiz zamanla barisik olmaya basliyorsunuz. Benim 25inci yasimda birden cok donum noktasi oldugu kesin. Bu yil “hayatta yapmam” dedigim bir suru seyi aslinda yapacagimi ve yapabildigimi ogrendigim bir yildi (farelerin kusatmis oldugu bir dairede 1 sene yasamak da buna dahil). Bu yil hayatimda ilk defa sevdigim birini kaybetmenin derin uzuntusunu yasadigim, ama bu uzuntuyu yasarken de daha yardima ihtiyacim oldugumu soylemeden yanima kosacak arkadaslarim oldugu icin ne kadar sansli oldugumu anladigim bir yildi. Evlendigim, ve kesinlikle hayatimla ilgili en buyuk adimi attigim yildi. Kanatlarimi acip evden uctum demek cok isterdim ama annem ve babam 3 sokak otemizde oturduklari icin cok da uzaga ucmus saymiyorum kendimi. Ama yine de baba ocagini terk ettim mi, ettim; ustelik tek cocuk olarak simartildigim (tek KIZ cocuk) baba ocagini… Bunu sadece bir evin tek kizi olanlar anlayabilir. Ayrica bu yil, hayatta ne yaparsaniz yapin, sadece olumun geri alinamayacagini, geri kalan herseyin her zaman duzeltilebilecegini ogrendigim bir yildi. Bu yil nefret ve ofkenin hayattaki 2 gereksiz sey oldugunu anladigim, ama cok sukur ki cok kisa zaman sonra ikisinin de tamamen yok oldugunu anladigim ve bizi etrafimizdakilerle omur boyu baglayacak tek seyin gercek sevgi oldugunu anladigim bir yildi. Ayrica kendimle ilgili yepyeni bir hobi kesfettigim, ve bu blogu yazmaya basladigim yil…

“Bir yil daha buyudum ama akillanmadim” deyimi bundan onceki her dogumgunum icin soylenebilir, ama bu sene icin soylenemez. Bu sene, 1 yil daha buyudum, ve kesinlikle akillandim 🙂

Skirt / Etek: Machka, Top / Ust: Zara, Cardigan / Hirka: Ralph Lauren, Shoes: Louboutin Pigalle, Bag / Canta: Yves Saint Laurent

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2 thoughts on “25.

  1. love the look!
    ———————-
    Pigalle Passions
    The biggest Louboutin pigalle fansite in the world!

  2. disturbed | says:

    […] Zara, T-shirt: Zara, Shoes: Christian Louboutain Pigalle (previously seen here) (daha once bu post‘ta goruldu), Leather jacket / Deri ceket: Maje (previously seen here and […]

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